Fail

Do you ever have one of those lifetimes months weeks when nothing you say seems to come out right? When even situations you handled well seem like they've gone horribly awry?  The last couple weeks have felt that way.

There's been a couple situations that turned out alright in the end...I think (one still feels only semi-resolved)...but I still feel awful about what happened and the way it happened.  Even if I had legitimate concerns, I feel like I handled it all poorly.

I don't look cute like this with my foot in my mouth.

The worst is when stuff is coming out of your mouth and it's like an out of body experience.  When you're watching yourself spew, know it's ridiculous, and are powerless to make it stop.

It's like this, only not pretty...more browns and moldy greens.

I've got some icky sinus thing and I don't even feel it's fair to blame it on that.  After all, other people have horrible illnesses and they can be nice...and reasonable.

Ultimately, I blame the toll of long endured stress. There's pretty much only three months of the year left. 2011 is almost over and I'm still stuck in the same predicament I started the year in, but with ever rising stakes. It makes me want to swear at the universe over the unfairness of it all...although I know this is silly and will accomplish nothing.

I also blame fear. I was confronted with losing something very special and important to me. Sometimes you don't realize just how profound an impact something has in your life until you think you've lost it.

If I gave you bad info, threw you under the bus or to the wolves, answered a question I shouldn't have, was snippy, or snarky, or just poorly behaved, I'm sorry. I'm certain to expel this demon soon...one way or another.