Seventeen Days

by KK Sierra.

Cheated. Betrayed. Lost.

Those three words seemed to describe most accurately what she felt as she stared at the computer screen trying to grasp what she had read.

He was breaking up with her...by email.

What had happened in 17 days to change, "I love you more than any other in life till now" to "This isn't possible right now, nor will it be in the future"?

He had been someone worthy. The kind of person you were proud to call your friend. Someone she respected immensely. Devoted to helping others, not selfishly pursuing a career that only benefited himself. He kept her guessing and she liked that, although she wished he didn't make her feel off-balance in the process. There was so much he kept to himself; she felt she could spend a lifetime figuring him out.

He had been her totem. No matter the distance or the craziness that surrounded her, he could bring her peace with a simple "good morning." He was too serious, and liked to tease her just to watch her get riled up.

She'd been cheated and didn't know why. There was so much she'd wanted to share, so many more memories to make. An evening picnic on the beach to watch the sun set. A camping trip perhaps. An offer to take her to a gun range. A desire to see him work magic with his camera. Hot chocolate and snowflakes. Their first New Year's Eve kiss.

Had she really misinterpreted everything he'd said and done? Had she been betrayed by him or her own heart? It had allowed her to forget her decade long lesson in trust. Had it blinded her too?

He changed. It all changed. She stood in the tattered remnants of their relationship unsure if she was the cause or simply left to deal with the effect.

Two weeks. A mere seventeen days from a happy contentment she hadn't felt in years to lost in a swirling abyss.

###

Time Keeps Ticking

There are simply not enough hours in the day.  For fun let’s break it down.

Assuming you can manage to function on say, seven hours of lying in your bed tossing and turning sleep, that gives you seventeen hours to get stuff done. If you have a “normal” job like I do your day probably starts rather early, especially if you have a commute. Don’t forget to take into account the amount of time it takes you to get ready in the morning and get to work.  For me, it is summer break right now and the kids are with the ex so I don’t have to get anyone up or ready for school.  This means my alarm goes off at 6 am.  I snooze it at least twice…twenty minutes, gone. Sometimes, I’ll snooze it once more and try to think of reasons to call in sick or dead or something. Responsibility and honesty always win and begrudgingly I roll out of bed and literally into my clothes.

Completely bleary-eyed I stumble to the kitchen for a cup of caffeinated something for the road. I usually only eat breakfast early when the kids are around (thus the excessive snoozing), so I grab a bowl and spoon for later and head out the door.  Fifteen minutes later I arrive at work. I’ve killed an hour of my seventeen and the death of eight hours begins. Take away an hour for lunch, since even if I run a few errands on it, it’s pretty much a lost hour. Seven left.

After work I often have to run into town to the post office, bank, grocery store, et cetera. If I’m lucky I manage to get home by 5. I now have six hours left.

Keep in mind that during the nine hours I killed at work, I was thinking about all the stuff I needed to do after work. Unload the dishes, mow the lawn, empty the cat litter, clean the guinea pig cage, pick up groceries, drop off some movies, pick up the dry cleaning, jot down that story idea, update the blog, create a budget, fold the laundry, call Mom, go to church, be a friend, go to the gym, and the list goes on and on.

Wipe out another hour for dinner and clean up and we’re down to five. Tonight I mowed the lawn and obliterated another hour. Four hours left. At this point I have to make some decisions. Do I a) take some much needed down time or b) try to get some more chores done or c) admit I’m exhausted and hit the sack early?

Tonight I needed down time. It’s been a crazy week already. Lots of stress! So I watched a movie, wrote this blog, and mentally added a bunch of new stuff to my to-do list. (Sadly, I realized while mowing the lawn that things are starting to feel fall-ish. So many outside things to be done before our summer drifts away, its dark by 5 and the rain never stops.)

Now that I really think about it, tonight’s four hours were actually really special. In two weeks those four hours are going to be filled with homework, after school activities, and meal planning. Oh…I’m exhausted already! 

My coworker said something the other day that instantly had me imagining the next evil villain.  This guy goes around stealing the world’s clocks and watches.  Somehow he figured out a way to capture time. If he owns two watches, his time doubles, three, it triples, four, well...you get the point. Doesn’t it sound like something straight out of an old Batman and Robin comic book? I wish it were true. I’d go buy several watches ASAP!

How about you? How do you manage your seven "free" hours a day?