Sleep Theory

At three a.m. I was awake and thought, "this is why we die."  A little morbid? Not really.

If the purpose of sleep is to recharge our bodies; if it is during sleep that we grow; if it is during sleep that our cells repair themselves, then it seems reasonable to think that it is a lack of sleep that is killing us.

Think about a rechargeable battery, say your cell phone, for example.  What do the instructions say when you get it? "Charge fully before use."  This is, in theory, to maximize the battery's life. We're also advised not to charge the phone until it is nearly dead, because putting a 2/3 charged battery on the charger reduces its ability to be recharged and shortens its lifespan.  Another example: I leave my laptop plugged in almost all the time.  So much so that it popped up and prompted me to change my settings to "battery saver."  It now no longer charges constantly when plugged in.  Instead, the laptop waits until it is at twenty or thirty percent remaining before it starts to charge.

How does that relate to us as humans?  What if we're recharged during sleep and our lack of sleep, our "half-charges" are shortening our life?  What if when we die, we die because we can't be recharged any more and we've been living off of our reserves, and when those reserves are depleted, that's it? 

The experts say that we can't fix a sleep deficit by sleeping in; that our late nights all week can't be remedied by sleeping until noon on Saturday. This is certainly true of our phones.  Once your battery's capacity is diminished it doesn't matter how long it sits on the charger at 100% charged, as soon as you pull it off the charger, it will discharge at the same rapid rate.

As we age, we typically sleep less and less. I would be curious to know how much sleep centenarians got on average over their lifetime. I wonder how long you could live if your body perfectly renewed itself every night. 

Thoughts?

Thoughts on Coping

Life throws us curve balls. Some of them are thrown with such strength, speed and accuracy you'd think you were facing down the Big Unit (meh, he was a great pitcher of my childhood). How you handle those curve balls however, says a lot about you.

Maybe you run or do yoga. Maybe you hide. Maybe finding the bottom of a bottle of rum is your choice. Maybe you're the whine on Facebook type. Maybe you lean on family and your true friends until the crisis is over. Maybe you find yourself the first thing on two legs that'll screw you. Maybe you drive your car too fast. Maybe you just mope and feel sorry for yourself.

For me, I write. I over think things, and I write.

I write about suicide. I write about death. I write angry. I write tears. I write about real men and tough women. I write about betrayal, honesty, and redemption. (Although, even when I'm in a great mood my writing runs on the dark side.)

This isn't new. I've done it my whole life. The difference is I have a blog instead of a pretty journal.

So read, think, relate. But always remember...

It's just fiction.

No Regrets

by KK Sierra

No goodbyes.
No regrets.
It's better this way.

Walked away.
Couldn't look back.
Who says its better this way?

Things are gone; empty rooms.
Vanilla lingers in the air.
Why is it better this way?

Passion embraced in the night.
Sharing love, sharing life.
Why do you want it this way?

You built a wall.
You hide yourself.
I won't say its better this way.

I'll sleep alone.
No regrets...
But, I don't want it this way.

###

12/11/10 - A special day I'll always remember. 

Seventeen Days

by KK Sierra.

Cheated. Betrayed. Lost.

Those three words seemed to describe most accurately what she felt as she stared at the computer screen trying to grasp what she had read.

He was breaking up with her...by email.

What had happened in 17 days to change, "I love you more than any other in life till now" to "This isn't possible right now, nor will it be in the future"?

He had been someone worthy. The kind of person you were proud to call your friend. Someone she respected immensely. Devoted to helping others, not selfishly pursuing a career that only benefited himself. He kept her guessing and she liked that, although she wished he didn't make her feel off-balance in the process. There was so much he kept to himself; she felt she could spend a lifetime figuring him out.

He had been her totem. No matter the distance or the craziness that surrounded her, he could bring her peace with a simple "good morning." He was too serious, and liked to tease her just to watch her get riled up.

She'd been cheated and didn't know why. There was so much she'd wanted to share, so many more memories to make. An evening picnic on the beach to watch the sun set. A camping trip perhaps. An offer to take her to a gun range. A desire to see him work magic with his camera. Hot chocolate and snowflakes. Their first New Year's Eve kiss.

Had she really misinterpreted everything he'd said and done? Had she been betrayed by him or her own heart? It had allowed her to forget her decade long lesson in trust. Had it blinded her too?

He changed. It all changed. She stood in the tattered remnants of their relationship unsure if she was the cause or simply left to deal with the effect.

Two weeks. A mere seventeen days from a happy contentment she hadn't felt in years to lost in a swirling abyss.

###

The Important Thing - A 5x5 Short Story

The Important Thing by KK Sierra


Life altering choices endlessly pondered.
Agonizing over the right thing.
Tough decisions and accompanying consequences.
The important question to ask:
Is your underwear clean today?

A Quote

“This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.”
― Marilyn Monroe

Purgatory

I think limbo must be the worst kind of torture. Granted, I've never experienced real torture, so I'm sure someone will tell me I'm wrong.

Think of all the things that are hard or tedious for you to do: school, work, being separated from someone you love, a work out, etc.

School: as awful as it may be has a definitive deadline. You can count down the days until your next weekend, your next break, until the end of the semester, etc.

Work: for most will never go away unless we win the lottery, but still has a definitive (although resetting) countdown. The end of the day, the end of the week, your next vacation, or until you find a new job.

A workout:  Even as you push yourself to the point of dying, the workout has to end at some point. If its a class, it'll end at a designated time.  If you're being driven to run a mile, it'll end at the end of the mile. No matter how it feels, it won't last forever.

The indeterminable however, that is the worst. Purgatory. The waiting with no sure timeline. That is what starts to wear on you. And wear. And wear. It makes you a little crazy I think. 

I want to stop waiting on other people to act. I want to get on with my life. 

The waiting. The wishing. The wanting. The missing.

Free will?

According to the bible God gave Adam free will. The ability to make choices. And yet, what choice was he really given? Option one: live life the way I direct and live forever. Option two: live life the way you want and ultimately die because you didn't make the choice I wanted you to.

Wait a minute, what? Pretty much that sounded like "do it my way or else" to me. What about you?

Is free will just an illusion? Sure seems like it. Recently I overheard, "I hope he sees his responsibility and comes back to church." Responsibility? Is that what you want worship/devotion from? A sense of responsibility? A sense of obligation? A sense of duty? Shouldn't devotion and worship be given out of love? Out of desire?

I certainly don't want my children to love me because they feel obligated to. I don't want to be married out of a sense of obligation. It should be because of love, because I earned it, not because I made a threat or gave someone no choice.

I don't subscribe to the belief of heaven or hell. I believe that dead is dead. Many however do and think that as long as you're a good person you'll go to heaven. That's not what I gathered from the book of Genesis. Adam was given two options: my way or the highway.

Why were we given free will? Are we just some science experiment? "Hey let's see what happens if we make creatures that are selfish, greedy and cruel, but also have the capacity for honor, love and generosity." Just toss 'em all together, shake 'em up and see what happens?

I feel like we were setup. Your thoughts?