Not all parents may agree with me, but I allow my oldest to have email and be social online with his friends with the provision that I have access to his accounts and he doesn't hide things. I don't take advantage of his privacy often, just occasionally peek into his world. He and I have a pretty good relationship and talk often, so I don't feel the need to poke around with much frequency.
What I found today shocked me. I've read erotica less explicit than the saved chat log I found between him and his girlfriend. (Ironic that I just blogged about trust, right?!)
When I asked him about it, he responded as you'd expect from any teenager. "What's the big deal? Everyone at school talks/behaves this way."
As a teen mother myself, I know exactly what the big deal is. It took some time and some tears, from both of us, before he finally understood.
The thought that finally got through and made the rest of the pieces fall into the big picture for him? "How would you feel about the boy who has that conversation with your sister?"
His response, "I'd kill him."
"Son," I asked, "what makes it okay for you to be that boy?"
I pray he keeps that in mind as he continues to travel down the road to manhood. He's seen the less than stellar example of his father. He's seen the much better example of his friends' fathers. I hope he remembers that the girls and women he encounters in life are someone's sister, someone's daughter, and treats them with the same respect he'd like to see his mom and his sisters treated.
