Giving Names

My boss and one of my employees name their cars. We were discussing this the other day. He thought the habit may have come from his daughter who as a child named everything. Her dolls, the cars, the pets, pretty much everything got a name.

I on the other hand don't recall liking to name anything. The few dolls I do recall naming had super simple names.  The doll with the pink hair and dress was Rosie. Her brother was Jesse. The black cow was Blackie. The sneaky, black and tan dog was Bandit. Nothing terribly unique or exciting. 

Even today I hate naming things.  I'm pretty sure I read every name and meaning in the 100,000 Baby Names book before my son was born. Choosing the right names for my children was very important. 

I have a difficult time naming my characters in stories. I don't know why exactly. I think one reason it is hard is that some names instantly conjure up certain stereotypes. Raul - dark, handsome, daring scoundrel. Savannah - sniveling, spoiled bitch.

The other reason, I guess, is names are important to me. Things are more meaningful when you include someone's name. Think about your parents. When they said, "John Michael Smith!" you knew they meant business. 

When I have something important to say, I use names. I always make a point to say, "I love you, XXX" rather than just "I love you, babe." Nicknames are cute and fun, but when you really mean something, when something is more important than a car, a name must be used.  Maybe that's the real reason the characters in my short stories usually don't have names.

What do you think? Is it easy to name things? How do you feel about the importance of using someone's name? 

Funny Commercials

Ran across an article about the top ten commercials ever. There have been some really awesome commercials over the years. The Mac/PC series was brilliant. The Budweiser Real Men of Genius series was hilarious. Assuming you're older than 27, how can you forget the little old lady asking, "Where's the beef?"

This video in particular, made me laugh out loud today.  Enjoy!




Happy Friday y'all!

Waiting - A 5x5 Short Story

Another 5x5 story:

Waiting by KK Sierra

The phone sits in silence.

The mailbox yields no correspondence.

Harsh glow in the dark.

Minutes tick into long days.

Blank page; the cursor blinks.

Change in Frequency

I have made it my utmost determination to blog daily since resurrecting this blog back in August. However, life gets insanely busy at times making it nearly impossible. So, I've decided not to beat myself up too badly if I miss a day here or there.

I'll still be here making regular posts. I just wanted to give a heads up that my world hasn't come to an end if I miss a day here or there.

BTW -- Today my bff officially hits three decades! Love you SO!

Haters & the Anonymous Comment

I grew up in a religious household. Those I associated with took the words written in the bible very seriously. Fornication, smoking, tattoos, swearing, homosexuality, etc, were all behaviors that were sinful. However, I never felt anyone I associated with were hateful. I never felt the church taught hate. The behavior may have been looked down on, but never the person. Even now, as I've chosen to leave the church, most of the feedback I've gotten has simply been disappointment.

Perhaps, I was lucky and the people I knew/know were more tolerant than others, the exception rather than the rule. Or perhaps I've been naive, shielded from reality in some way, but as I find random articles on the internet, I'm stunned by the amount of hate people seem justified in spewing.

For example, apparently public nudity is allowed in San Francisco, but they've recently proposed an ordinance that requires clothing in restaurants. I'm not sure how sitting at a table naked qualifies as a sanitation issue, unless these diners are making their way back into the prep area. Do I agree with public nudity? No. I most certainly do not want to see random naughty bits.  That being said, the self-righteous hate in the comments of this article is incredible:

• "You've GOT to be shitting me. More reason to not ever go to San Francisco. No wonder they call California the Granola State (home to the nuts, flakes, and fruits)."
  
  
• "San Franscisco [sic] is modern day Sodom or Gomorah [sic] of Bible time. God is merciful but He will execute justice on this preverted [sic] city in His time. I pray for SF to turn from their sin."
  
  
• "There is always hope that the next earthquake will break off parts of California into the ocean! Say San Francisco, Oakland and LA, then the state would be somewhat normal!"
  
  
• "Yeah! I hope they all die as the buildings fall, including the pregnant women and their unborn children." 

Call me crazy, but I think this type of behavior is juvenile and inappropriate. I think if you don't like a naked person at the restaurant you're at, you can ask the owner to change to a No Shirt, No Service policy, or you can choose to eat elsewhere.

Misplaced and misdirected hate can be found all over the internet and I don't understand it. This article about nudity and food safety was found on delish.com, a place for food enthusiasts not a platform for moral debate. I still believe the comments are completely inappropriate, but perhaps they would've made more sense in a forum discussing public nudity?

Why do people feel the need to voice their hatred at will?

Why post something like this on an article about autism:

• "Ignorance IS bliss! There isn't any MONEY in this diagnosis! NEWSFLASH ~ OUR GOVERNMENT IS BROKE!!! My child is perfectly joyful and everyone simply loves her! She possess the phenominal ability to memorize dialog and comments from hearing the information ONCE! I possess a MASTER's degree and very typical in my psycho / social disposition plus I am working toward my DOCTORATE! God is wathing [sic] you and KARMA is reciprocal!"

Why is it okay to post something like this on an article about a Soldier who died and how is family is coping:

• "Blah blah blah.. someone went to kill other people cause some other people, that are known for LYING, told him to and he died.
  I AM sorry that a living creature lost their life.
  I am NOT sorry for HOW he lost his life.
  I am NOT grateful for his 'service'.
  He CHOSE to listen to LIARS, he CHOSE to kill people, and he got what he asked for."
  
  

Or this on an article about health care and PTSD:

• "dont get me wrong here, im all for giving these men and women all they need, but within reasons. Post traumatic syndrome is something mental, can be remedied. if you cannot handle it, then dont join, seriously"

What gives anyone the right to hate the Soldier doing his job just because they disagree with the wars in the Middle East? Or to think that they don't deserve adequate health care when they come home?

Perhaps it is because of beliefs like these posted in response to the exotic animal incident in Ohio:

•  "I'd rather see all three of you shot, than animals that were kept in captivity shot because of some humans stupidity. Yep, that's right, I hold human life in so little regard. So, continue to respond, but it doesn't change the fact that I'd sooner see you dead. The only shame is that nothing would be there to feast on your carcasses. Btw, local animal control has tranquilizers, and last I checked lions and tigers aren't exactly equipped to open car doors. As I said, stupid, lazy, ignorant imbeciles, such as yourselves are much better off dead. It actually does the human race some good. Having been to Ohio though, I can't say I'm surprised, the level of intelligence that resides there isn't exactly rife with promise."

In addition to the values I personally work to instill in my children, since Kindergarten my children's school has promoted courtesy, kindness and respect to the entire student body. Have we grown up and forgotten these basic principles?

Perhaps these devout Christians, who glory in quoting scripture, should take a moment to reflect on this:  “Don’t judge, so that you won’t be judged. You’ll receive the same judgment you give. Whatever you deal out will be dealt out to you. Why do you see the splinter that’s in your brother’s or sister’s eye, but don’t notice the log in your own eye?"

(On a complete side note, apparently I'm not the only one noticing dumb comments today. Please take a moment to enjoy this article from Cracked.)

Memories vs Mementos

When you think about the special times in your life how do you recall them? Is it a special memento you've obtained, photographs, or is it just your memories of the event?

You hear people say, "well, you've always got your memories." However, that's not always the case. My grandmother, for example, developed dementia before she passed away. The dementia stole her memories and in doing so, stole part of her. So much of who she was was the stories she shared. She was very smart and  read all the time. She loved to share the things she'd learned. It was heartbreaking to watch her try to recall events and facts.

On the other hand, things are also lost, stolen or destroyed. When there are fires or natural disasters, assuming there is no loss of life, the thing that people are saddest about isn't the loss of their home, as homes can be rebuilt, but the loss of their pictures and other special mementos.

I know for me I'm not big on having a bunch of cluttery mementos, but there are times, when I'd like to have something reminding me of those I love to hold close to my heart and pictures of their smiling faces to enjoy.

Flying First Class

Flying first class isn't all its cracked up to be.

I've flown nearly 28k on Alaska and its partner airlines this year and recently qualified for MVP status. With this comes the opportunity to be upgraded to first class.

On my recent trip to the desert Alaska gave me my first First class experience.

The advantages to MVP and first class:

1) Faster through the lines. This means all the lines. Checking my bag, security, and boarding the plane.

2) No baggage fees.

3) First to board.

4) Obviously wider seats.

5) The bathroom is closer and has less traffic.

6) A flight attendant that gives you lots of attention, drinks and food.

Now, the disadvantages.

1) While bigger, I didn't find the seats to be anymore comfortable.

2) You wouldn't think the divider between first and coach is really significant but it makes you feel like you're in a small room. Passengers in this room however, don't seem to have the same courtesy as in coach. They forget their voices carry and seem to think its totally fine to engage in conversations at full volume. Similarly, movements like tapping your foot, travel through the floor more obviously than in coach.

3) The flight attendants in the front of the plane have stuff to do so they never turn all the lights out and its hard to sleep with them moving around.

4) Getting off the plane first doesn't mean you won't have to wait for your luggage...for a long ass time.

5) The jackass next to me that thinks its okay to put his loafers on the bulkhead wall.

More fun on my flight, I saw a person get kicked off a plane for the first time. I have no idea why she was kicked off but she was not happy. Since I was two rows from the door I got to hear her yelling in the jetway.

Second, another woman mistook Alaska for Horizon. Horizon offers an ala carte service for their smaller planes that don't actually have internal space for roller bags. You bring your one free carry-on to the plane but then leave it in the jetway to have it immediately stowed. No grubby hands potentially digging in your suitcase.

Anyway, this woman just dropped her bag at the door and boarded. She was very angry when the attendants told her she'd have to get her bag at the carousel when we landed. In my opinion, SHE should've been the one kicked off.

As a frequent flyer I see people do a lot of annoying stuff. Like those who think that one suitcase and a personal item means a purse the size of a small child. Or the people who refuse to put their laptop or other small bag under the seat so there is plenty of room for suitcases. Also fun, the people who think their suitcase is special and ignore the dozens of signs that say "wheels down, facing you" and stuff their suitcase in sideways taking up a space and a half.

I also get to do some awesome people watching and see a lot of funny stuff. Like the woman in capris, flip flops, and pantyhose. Or the guy that was dressed up like a Pokemon.

I'm headed home this morning and got bumped up to first class again. The foot tapping woman from my first flight is back. Also a couple who has been super loud already. We'll see if my opinion of first class improves.

What kind of traveling experiences do you have?

Surprises Follow Up

A few weeks back I told you I had a surprise or two up my sleeve. I'm here to follow up on that and tell you what they were.

First, remember back when I went parasailing earlier in the summer? Then a little while later I conquered my fear of roller coasters?  Well, my friend's birthday is in two weeks and I won't be able to be there so I decided an early present was in order. A couple years ago he went sky diving and thought it was amazing. I wanted to do something with him that he loved so I made arrangements for us to make a jump on my last visit.

The day was absolutely beautiful, warm and sunny. The people at the sky diving company were totally cool and made me comfortable. My friend, of course, had no time to stress and be anxious.  I, on the other hand, had nightmares about falling out of the airplane unattached or the parachute failing to open for weeks.

Despite my fears, it was the most amazing thing ever. It wasn't actually scary. You don't have the same stomach dropping feeling like you do on roller coasters. I am thankful I have a video recording to relive the experience again and again. I would definitely do it again in a heartbeat. I was so happy to share the experience with one of my most favorite people.

Now, the day this blog posts, I'm delivering on another surprise. I told my best friend she'd have wine delivered in time to drink with her cake. She was expecting it to be sent via FedEx. Instead I'm bringing it to her.

Obviously I'm writing about this before it happens but I will be jumping on a plane after work today and should arrive at her house around 2 a.m. I'm hoping when this posts that I was able rouse someone and am sleeping in the house, but there's a good chance I'll be sleeping in the rental car waiting to surprise her. I haven't seen her since August and I've missed her terribly. She's been going through a rough time and I can't wait to give her a big hug!

Planning surprises is so much fun! Have you done anything fun lately? What kind of surprise would you want to get?

Update: yes, I did sleep in the car and yes, I totally surprised her and it was awesome. Gave a little mini surprise to another friend later as well. :D

Friendship is Precious

Sometimes the beauty of friendship amazes me.

I have a good friend who belongs to the church I've left. I wanted to tell her personally of my decision so we went out to grab a beer and a bite to eat. Her mother passed away earlier this summer and she's still been struggling with that loss. We talked a bit about how she felt she was finally coping with the lose and ready to "rejoin" society. We talked about her sons, school, and life in general before broaching the subject of why we we're really there.

As much as I wanted to just be strong and tell her straight out, I couldn't. Tears formed, my throat tightened and speaking was nearly impossible. After a moment to compose myself, I told her what was going on. To my complete amazement, she understood and sympathized.

More importantly, she said that it didn't matter to her if I wasn't going to go to church anymore, she would always be my friend.  I was stunned. Part of the church doctrine is strictly shunning those who no longer attend.

My best friend told me that "those who matter won't care and those who care, don't matter." How true those words have proven to be.  I am truly blessed.  I also have to say, after stressing over this for so long, I have never felt lighter and more at peace with myself.

Beggin'

This song has been in my head and the video cracks me up. Thought I'd share.

A Fall Story

Laughter rang across the open field from the orchard beyond. The source of the sound hidden amongst the changing leaves. Although the sun still shone brightly in the sky, autumn was taking firm grasp of the world. Frost had crept in during the night leaving drooping, dying plants in its wake; wide leaves no longer hiding their bright orange treasures.

Soon wisps of fine gray smoke would waft above the red brick chimney of the small home. Baskets of shiny red apples would be peeled, cored, and sliced. The tangy odor of rising bread would mix with cinnamon and citrus. Cocoa and hot toddies would be savored.

Bright colors would please the eyes. The rich burgundy of cranberry sauce punctuated by bright orange peel, the various golden browns of baked bread, roast turkey and apple cobbler, the creamy white of smashed potatoes with the soft yellow of melting butter, the bright green of string beans, and the deep orange of pumpkin pie.

Most importantly, the home would fill with friends, family, and love as they took time to be thankful for all the blessings they had, big or small.

The writer who held things together, the marine who kept them safe, the niece who made them laugh, the munchkin who made them smile, the corpsman who watched over them, and the friend who loved them all.

###

You're a God? No thanks.

Over the weekend I blazed through Rick Riordan's newest Heroes of Olympus book, The Son of Neptune. I love this series. He weaves a fabulous tale with unexpected twists and turns, while tossing modern technology with mythology. Even more fun is each story builds on the last and is guaranteed to be resolved in a short series...no long drawn out story lines.

One thought that struck me as I read the book and contemplated the series was how much it sucks to be a demigod. Sure, you've got powers...harness lightening, control water, summon the dead, but everywhere you go monsters are trying to kill you and you can't hide because you have a distinct "smell", you have weird visions when you sleep, and Gods and Goddesses are constantly tricking, bribing or threatening you into do things for them.

In Rick Riordan's world, the Gods need the demigods and humans to do things for them, but they can't ever tell them straight out what they need because they're not supposed to interfere. (Um, what? Pretty sure that's all the Gods do!)

Instead they give them cryptic prophecies that promise the end of mankind and the destruction of the Gods unless some bizarre quest is fulfilled. Of course, on these quests the demigods lose their friends and things that are important to them and in the end the Gods are generally begrudging and/or just ungrateful.

I suppose it makes some sense. After all, how can you have power if you have no one to exercise it over. Since I don't believe in the ancient Gods...I think they're just fables made up by men, it makes me wonder what is it that makes humans feel the need to dominate something or someone else?  Why can't we just let each other live life fairly? Recognizing our own strengths and weaknesses both as people and as "places".

I live in the plains and have barley..you live in orchards and have peaches...let's trade. It sure seems simple enough. I think that no matter where we are we're more alike than we are different. We all want to be happy and healthy. We want to see our children grow up in safety and peace. We want to see our love ones leave in the morning and not wonder if they're going to come home in the evening. We want to be respected and loved. Basic humanity.

Did I mention how all these poor, mostly doomed demigods came to be? Gods hooking up with humans. As exciting as that sounds, I'll be sticking with mortal men with narcissistic tendencies.

Best Wishes

My good friend has been in school since January to become an IDC (Independent Duty Corpsman). Today marks the beginning of the week long Final Evaluation Period. I wish him and his class the best this week as they put their hard earned skills to the test.

Do Nothing Weekend

From time to time everyone needs a do nothing weekend.

I have a love/hate relationship with video games. I think they can be fun. Lots of fun. And addicting. I'm not very good at them. I'm really competitive and hate not being very good. I don't have time to sit around playing games long enough to get good at them. Thus the love/hate relationship. I hate not being good enough to win, I don't have time to get better and therefore, I don't play. That's logical, right?

My other issue with video games comes from people in my past playing them to the exclusion of those around them. Video games, like any other form of entertainment, should only be done when everything else is done. Chores, homework, family time...those things should all come first.

That history being briefly explained, I recently had a bad deja vu experience where I judged someone rather unfairly. Instead of opening up, I resorted to old coping mechanisms. I've come to realize this was wrong and really all on me and although I apologized, I still feel badly about it.  Sometimes emotional growth is painfully slow. I was wrong and I'm sorry.

Anyway, my kids have been asking for a gaming system for a long time and I've consistently put them off.  I just really didn't want another one in the house. It's been a long time since we've had one and I wasn't anxious to have it back. Then I realized the system itself wasn't evil and I was being unfair in not trusting our ability (as a family) to use it responsibly.

I wrote earlier of this game my coworker's been very excited about. Since I know the history behind it through the books, I went ahead and got the game for my family. It's definitely not for my younger kids, but on this "do nothing" weekend, my son and I have been having loads of fun playing the game. I'm still not very good, but I've come to realize I don't have to be that good to have fun if I'm playing with the right people.

And...proving responsibility...it's now turned off and we're finishing up some chores to get ready for the week ahead.

Hope you're having a great weekend, if not with those you love, then at least doing something relaxing that you enjoy.  Cheers!

Lead by Example

Leading by example is a funny concept. I was thinking about this the other day and realized  you can only lead those who actually want to change, learn and/or advance. If those you supervise or manage have no interest in personal growth, they're just going to do the minimum to get by and let you do all the real work.

After all, that is hopefully why you became a manager/supervisor.  You were the person who went above and beyond and got things done. Then someone recognized this trait and put you in charge. 

I don't think any amount of encouragement, bribery, prodding or threatening will get an unmotivated person to follow the example of someone who is responsible, thoughtful, and hard working.

What do you think?

On Giving and Not Getting

Do you give more than you get back?  Does it make sense to keep giving when it is unrequited?

You hear this most often in reference to love, but I'm thinking in other contexts too.

Are you the polite type that always says please and thank you? Opens doors for people? Gives up your seat on the bus? 

If that is never, ever, ever reciprocated do you keep doing it because you feel it's right? Or do you eventually become embittered?

I know for me there are things I like to do that I wish the recipients would reciprocate or at least acknowledge...but on the other hand, they're things I enjoy doing...so I'm thinking I should just take pleasure in that and leave it be. :)

What do you think? I'm curious.

Another random thought...does anyone else have the issue with their brain and mouth being completely disconnected? Sometimes I find people will say, "Have a nice day" or "Thanks for coming" and I think, "Thanks, you too" or "Thank you for having us" but it totally fails to exit my mouth and by the time I realize I didn't actually say anything, it's too late and I look like a jerk.

Crossovers

One day my coworker tells me how excited he is for a new video game about to be released. I'm not sure what it's categorized as exactly, but it's a role playing/third person shooter game. I'm not into video games myself, so I am amused when he tells me he's going to drive to town, thirty minutes away, for the big release at midnight. Crazy, crazy man.

So the game comes out and I hear more about how awesome it is and how the storyline is changing. Ah...the storyline. He tells me he's reading a book that tells the story that proceeds the first game. Being the book buff that I am, I look it up on Amazon and read the first few pages. It's a great story. I'm sucked in in just a few pages. "So...," I ask, "how soon will you be done with the book?"

My coworker doesn't read as fast as I do, so he let's me borrow it. I devour it and return it two days later. Then I buy the next book in the series...and the next.  There is one more and possibly a fifth in the future. Woot!

I know this type of game-to-book writing happens frequently. I know that things like the Star Wars Chronicles exist. Even so, when I read what I consider to be crossovers, I'm totally drawn into them and a little at awe. Why? These writers have taken an already richly defined world and made it even more robust. Characters that were loved are given more dimension.  It's a fine line to walk for a writer, in my opinion. They must keep true to the original character as perceived by the gamers.

This book series was so enthralling, I even picked up the game controller and went a few rounds with my son.  I suck, by the way, a lot. :)  I don't think earning the "Go On Without Me" ribbon three times is something to brag about.

Shadow Update

Thought I'd give you an update on the cat we got a couple months ago. She's quite spoiled and is enjoying being a house cat. She's totally torn up my curtains and scratched my couch.

Watching her chase her toy mouse or a bouncing ball across our wood floors is hysterical. She can't get any traction and slides all over the place.

I'm not a fan of her wandering the house at night. When I let her do this when she first came to live with us she jumped up on my bed all night long...well, until I was sick of it and put her in the bathroom.  This has become our nightly ritual. When it's bed time, the girls give the cat loves and she gets put in the bathroom with her food, water and litter box.

Due to some half-assed handy work my bathroom door doesn't have a latch. So I can pull it shut and it's pretty tight, but it doesn't actually latch closed. 

When the cat is totally annoyed with being shut in the bathroom she claws under the door at the carpet and such. It's quite funny to see her little paw dart out from under the door.  At least, it was funny until she figured out she could claw at the door...and pull it open.

I didn't believe it until I saw with my own eyes. Strong cat...a bit ingenious too.  If she's that smart why can't she figure out I don't want her in my bed?

A Quote

“This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.”
― Marilyn Monroe

Thoughts on Sleeves

I realized the other day that I am a bit weird about sleeves. When it is cool out, I like to wear long sleeve shirts and hoodies. However, I noticed I am always pushing the sleeves up. They're usually about half way up my forearm.

Kinda like this...only I don't look remotely like her.

Funny thing is, although I push my sleeves up like that I am absolutely NOT a fan of 3/4 sleeves.

Note the sleeves hit exactly the same spot as the pushed up jacket above.

I actually have a shirt just like that one...I hate it. I don't know why it is still in my closet. I never wear it.

The one disadvantage to pushing your sleeves up all day...the sleeves get kinda stretched out & look funny by the end of the day.

It's Done

I went to court Wednesday and my eighteen months of torture are finally over. The ex is now officially, legally, the Ex. Thank god.

I'm hoping with this weight lifted I can finally get a good nights sleep. :-)

Sure, I still have to deal with him. There are children involved after all. However, I can finally move forward. It's such sweet relief. He no longer can try to hold anything over my head.

By the way, celebrating after with bubbly on an empty stomach cause I didn't eat anything before due to nerves...bad idea. Makes the head spin a bit at 1100.

Cheers, everyone!

Delivering Bad News

How do you break someone's heart?

I mean, knowingly sit them down and give them information that will crush them?

I never gave the Ex's feelings a single thought when I kicked him out. The only thought was the safety of my children and myself. When his actions persisted, it destroyed any remaining desire for reconciliation. I moved on. I had to. I can't say the same for him. Nearly two years later, as our divorce finally nears completion, he still professes his love. I'm sorry he still feels that way. I don't, however, feel any guilt over it. Not one iota.

Not the same for this other situation. After thirty some odd years on this earth, I've decided to make yet another big change in my life. I'm moving away from the church and the way my parents raised me. All their effort and desires are going to be for naught because I'm walking away from it all.

I imagine this might be a little how gays and lesbians feel. The burning desire to be who you are coupled with the fear of hurting those you love in the process.

This has been eating at me for a long time. This trying to make the right decision. I'm still not fully convinced its the right thing to do.  I did stop and ask myself, "could you walk away from the potential you see in your future, and stay on the expected path. Could you live with yourself?"

My answer was yes. Yes, I could continue to live the life I am expected to live. I could continue to raise my children as I was raised. I could live a lie, and I would be absolutely miserable.

The next question was, "can you live with the fallout?"  The fallout being the likelihood that I'm going to be disowned. The fallout of knowing I've once again disappointed my parents.

I've thought long and hard about this, and I don't know. I also don't know for certain what the fallout will be. My parents could react differently than I expect them to (unlikely) or they could react exactly like I expect them to, but later with more thought and reflection, they may decide that my decision wasn't the end of the world they expected.

Having come to the decision that I'm going to quit "hiding", the question is how to tell them. On one hand I'd like to give them a well thought out letter. Something that allows me to explain what I'm doing without the emotional drama of tears and yelling. Something that allows time for thoughtful reflection on exactly what I'm telling them.

On the other hand, do they have the right to hear it straight from me? To have their moment of pain, grief and lashing out?

I don't know which is right. I've been in situations where I would've liked the letter and the opportunity to compose myself that it enabled.  I've also been confronted with situations where a letter is not good enough. I want to look into the person's eyes and see their body language while they give me bad news.

Thoughts?

P.S. My mom called the other night. She said I didn't seem myself lately and she wanted to know if she could help me in any way. This is going to be so much harder than I thought. :(

Simple Can Be Fun

As intricate and realistic as video and computer games are these days, I think it's great that simple (not high graphics or requiring expensive systems) games can still be highly rewarding.

My son has been playing a game called Terraria for the last several days. As he explores the seemingly endless world, he is able to find raw materials and figure out how to put them together, fights monsters, interacts with other characters, and more.

He burrows into the earth and finds hidden caves, underground lakes, and pockets of precious minerals. It even has a sense of humor.

His crazy 3 story house. After he built it the nurse showed up. "Hello Nurse!" lol

Night Ramblings

I don't understand how I can be so tired that if I just sit on the couch when I get home from work I instantly fall asleep, but when I crawl in bed at night my mind won't shut off.

It's frustrating. Anyone else experience this?

This kept running through my head the other night...at about 3 a.m.

Sort of to the tune of Oh Holy Night:

Oh restless night!
How I effing loathe thee
Long is the stream of unending thoughts.
Worry banished by light, returns in the dark.
Peaceful slumber escapes me.


Here comes the dawn!
It harkens yonder.
Brightening as time escapes forever.

Okay, so a poet I am not. :) I don't remember the other words, either. At 0300 they seemed genius. Now, less so.

How about you? What kind of uselessness keeps you up at night?

Late Night Reading

I love to read. Even more, I love to find a book that sucks me so far into it's world that I struggle to return to reality. A book that stays on my mind long after I've finished it. A book that leaves me yearning for another peek into the world inside.

The other night, I found one of those books. Reclaiming Ter Chadain by C.S. Yelle.

If you love the fantasy worlds found in the Inkheart series or the Ranger Apprentice series, you will love Ter Chadain.

I enjoyed it so much I stayed up until 2 a.m. to finish it...on a work night...when I had to be up by six the next morning.  Oops.

Let's just say my alarm clock and I did battle in the morning. My snooze would have won if not for a timely text message from a friend. (Thanks friend.)

Thanks, C.S. Yelle, for writing such a fantastic world. I look forward to another trip.

What book have you loved recently? I'd love to hear.

21 Questions

21 Questions to Ask Your Kids

I found this on The Unexpected Education who found it on Randomosity. I found it entertaining.

1. What is something Mommy always says to you?
"I love you." "Clean your room." "Go to bed."

2. What makes Mommy happy?
"Seeing us." <consensus>

3. What makes Mommy sad?
"Dad." "When we have to leave." "Not cleaning our room."

4. How does Mommy make you laugh?
"Saying and doing silly things." "Telling jokes."



5. What was Mommy like as a child?
They don't seem to know.

6. How old is Mommy?
"32" "33" "34" <no consensus - lol>

7. How tall is Mommy?
"5'6" "5'5" "5'4" <no consensus>

8. What is Mommy’s favorite thing to do?
"Do stuff that we like to do." "Play on your laptop and cellphone." "Read."

9. What does Mommy do when you’re not around?
"Work." "Hang out with your friends."

10. If Mommy becomes famous,what will it be for?
"Computers." "Singing."

11. What is Mommy really good at?
"Computers." "Your job."

12. What is Mommy not very good at?
"Yeah? What are you not good at?" "Playing video games."

13. What does Mommy do for her job?
"Computers." "Help people with their computers."

14. What is Mommy’s favorite food?
"You have a lot of favorite foods."

15. What makes you proud of Mommy?
"When you take us somewhere." "You care about us."

16. If Mommy were a cartoon character,who would she be?
"Squidward. No, Candace." <no consensus - Seriously? From Phineas & Ferb? - FYI, My older kids couldn't come up with an answer for this one. Son says, "You're real, Mom.">

17. What do you and Mommy do together?
"Stuff." "Go places, talk, and play games."

18. How are you and Mommy the same?
"My face!" "Similar personality traits."

19. How are you and Mommy different?
"You know a lot and I don't." "Our hair is different." "You think different things are right than I do."

20. How do you know Mommy loves you?
"You take us fun places and say you love us and we have a house and stuff."

21. Where is Mommy’s favorite place to go?
"Anywhere with us." "Home."

Copy this note, ask your kid the questions and write them down exactly how they respond.

It's Really Quite Simple

I've read a couple blogs, talked to some friends, and have decided this needs to be said:

Woman are not that complicated. The things we want are actually quite simple.

It used to be that women needed men for financial support. Not so much these days. I personally have been supporting myself and my family for, well, since I had a family...over fifteen years now.

So what do women want?

• Security -- We're talking about our relationship here. We need to feel secure in where we stand with you. You can't assume we know anything whatsoever about what you think. You need to tell us.
• Emotional Support -- Be interested enough in us to share our interests. You don't have to become an expert in baking, gardening, writing, whatever it is we like, but listen with interest, eat our baking, admire our garden, read our writing. Be mentally available...being in the same room physically is not enough.
• Trust -- Trust us enough to know that just because we like to dress up once in a while, wear sexy panties, and go out with our girlfriends, we're not looking to cheat. In return, we'll be totally okay with you having nights out with the boys. Also, you're not okay with us being close friends with other guys, we know this. Don't expect us to be okay with you being close friends with other girls.
• Honest Communication -- Sometimes we talk in circles and sometimes we hold things back, but stuff eats at us and we're eventually going to come around and tell you what's bothering us. Know that whatever we're about to say we've been contemplating for a long time...trying to decide if it's even worth discussing. We like actions to match words. Don't say it if you're not going to follow through.

That's pretty much it. We want to feel secure in our relationship with you. We want to have trust and honest communication. When those things are in line, everything else falls into place. FYI - when women are secure and happy in our relationships, we like to have sex with you. When we're secure in our relationship, we're not jealous, we don't freak out, and we're not clingy. When we're secure, our relationship is strong and we'll stand by you through hurricane force difficulties that will try to bring us down.

Women who want flowers, jewelry, etc. are looking for material manifestations of what you're not giving them emotionally. 

This may seems oversimplified. I won't disagree there are a lot of whiny, evil, manipulative bitches out there and other exceptions to the rule. For the most part however, you'll find if your woman is secure in her relationship with you, you're going to be happy and so is she.  

###

For my dear SO - Hugs babe.

Keepin' it Real

Buzzwords and slang annoy me.

Weak.

Epic.

Winning.

Cloud.

They demonstrate a complete lack of originality. Not only that, they often have multiple meanings, so when they're used, what the heck did the speaker actually mean?

Epic annoys me the most.

Please someone explain to me what "epic fantasy" is as a genre.

Epic, according to Merriam-Webster, means extending beyond the usual or ordinary especially in size or scope.  So, epic fantasy is extending beyond the ordinary scope of normal fantasy? Fantasy IS freaking made up stuff! How much further BEYOND can you get?


The worst thing is, these perfectly legitimate, normal words get forever branded and you look like an idiot using them even a decade later.

Like, oh my god, totally to the max.

Psych...for real!

Keeping Perspective

I just had an epiphany. I realized why, some days, I hate my job so much and dread talking to a single person.

The reason is the people we give tech support to on a daily basis, those who call all the time over stuff they should know, are the laziest, douchiest people.

The kind of people who are always looking for handouts instead of willing to work.

The thing that we forget as we're bombarded by this day in and day out is that these people only make up about five percent of our customer base. The other ninety-five percent are amazing, hard-working, wonderful, thoughtful people.

Sadly, we don't get to talk to these amazing ninety-five percent. On the rare occasion we do, we sometimes forget that they're not the lazy people we normally work with.

Sometimes, when you're in the thick of whatever bad situation you're in, its hard to see anything past what is right in front of your face. It's easy to judge an entire group of people (our entire client base for example) by the actions of just a few.

A lesson we should all probably consider as we look out on our life and the world around us. When looking at the horrors of humanity, its good to remember that not everyone thinks that way. Not everyone is selfish. Hate, anger, frustration tend to breed more of the same.

Perhaps next time I'm told, "I hate talking to Douche Waffle," I'll try to be positive in return instead of agreeing that Douche Waffle is a well, douche. 

Your thoughts?