Surprises Follow Up

A few weeks back I told you I had a surprise or two up my sleeve. I'm here to follow up on that and tell you what they were.

First, remember back when I went parasailing earlier in the summer? Then a little while later I conquered my fear of roller coasters?  Well, my friend's birthday is in two weeks and I won't be able to be there so I decided an early present was in order. A couple years ago he went sky diving and thought it was amazing. I wanted to do something with him that he loved so I made arrangements for us to make a jump on my last visit.

The day was absolutely beautiful, warm and sunny. The people at the sky diving company were totally cool and made me comfortable. My friend, of course, had no time to stress and be anxious.  I, on the other hand, had nightmares about falling out of the airplane unattached or the parachute failing to open for weeks.

Despite my fears, it was the most amazing thing ever. It wasn't actually scary. You don't have the same stomach dropping feeling like you do on roller coasters. I am thankful I have a video recording to relive the experience again and again. I would definitely do it again in a heartbeat. I was so happy to share the experience with one of my most favorite people.

Now, the day this blog posts, I'm delivering on another surprise. I told my best friend she'd have wine delivered in time to drink with her cake. She was expecting it to be sent via FedEx. Instead I'm bringing it to her.

Obviously I'm writing about this before it happens but I will be jumping on a plane after work today and should arrive at her house around 2 a.m. I'm hoping when this posts that I was able rouse someone and am sleeping in the house, but there's a good chance I'll be sleeping in the rental car waiting to surprise her. I haven't seen her since August and I've missed her terribly. She's been going through a rough time and I can't wait to give her a big hug!

Planning surprises is so much fun! Have you done anything fun lately? What kind of surprise would you want to get?

Update: yes, I did sleep in the car and yes, I totally surprised her and it was awesome. Gave a little mini surprise to another friend later as well. :D

Fun House Mirrors

The average American woman wears a size 14. Hollywood stars average size 4. Is it any wonder we have a skewed, unrealistic view of our bodies? Like looking at ourselves in fun house mirrors.

 A little over a year ago I wore a size 18; today I wear a size 8. I’m not at the end of my weight loss journey. For me, reaching my goal is not about the size of my pants or a number on the scale. It’s ultimately about how I feel inside and out. I know that even when I reach my body's "happy weight", there will be the struggle to maintain the loss.

I recently discovered some pictures on my camera from when I was near my heaviest. I’m nowhere near that weight and god forbid I ever am again, but those old feelings, disgust, and low self-esteem immediately surfaced. Since I’ve lost the weight I worry more now about the tiniest fluctuation of the scale than I ever did before. Instead of increasing self-confidence, I’m unsure of myself. I may have changed my body, but inside I still feel like a fat girl.

Logically it makes no sense whatsoever. I have friends that are heavier than I am that I think are beautiful women. I look at them and see the wonderful people they are. I never think, “wow, look at her cellulite butt jiggle.” In fact, I’m jealous of the ease with which they seem to navigate their lives, the confidence they exude.

I can positively say to any one of my friends that "she’s amazing and beautiful."  I can tell her to stop stressing about a pound or two and let her body settle at it's happy weight. As long as she’s healthy she doesn’t need to worry. How can I convince myself of the same thing?