The airport is boring. Really, really boring. It is however entertaining to watch people. Some people quietly wait, reading their books, newspapers, and magazines. Others work dutifully on their laptops, tapping away on documents, emails and spreadsheets. A few chatter obnoxiously on their cell phones oblivious to others around them. Then there are those putting up that "leave me alone" signal with their earbuds in, jamming to music or playing games on one electronic device or another. Finally, there are those traveling with children.
I don't know how many times the average traveler flies in a year, but I have flown at least 30 segments this year. I'm looking at another four for certain before December. I'll actually hit MVP with my main airline very shortly. So, I spend a fair amount of time in airports. I can tell you with authority that you are constantly reminded not to leave your bags unattended. Even without TSA's multiple reminders, I wouldn't leave my stuff sitting anywhere anyway. I don't know about you, but I can't afford to replace my laptop if someone decides to relieve me of it while I'm off grabbing a coffee or using the bathroom.
Since I feel so strongly about my laptop and cell phone it disturbs me to see people leave their CHILDREN unattended. Not older children (although they also can be vulnerable), but anyone under the age of twelve. As I write this, I'm killing time in Sky Harbor International in Phoenix, Arizona. Since the flight isn't for two hours the gate area only has a dozen or so people in it. There is a woman near me and apparently her smallest child needed the bathroom. She asks the older girl to stay with the bag while she takes the younger girl to the bathroom. This woman has one small duffel bag. Just one. No carry-ons, no stroller, no backpacks full of stuffed animals and entertainment for the airplane. Nope, just one small duffel bag.
Now, I've used airport bathrooms loaded down with a carry-on suit case, my laptop backpack, a coffee drink, and my jacket. You do some juggling, but it is perfectly manageable and better than the alternative of losing your stuff. Regardless, this woman thought it was a better idea to leave this small girl ALONE in the airport, than pick up her bag and take both girls with her to the restroom.
After the woman left, I gathered my stuff up, went down the terminal a few feet and grabbed some food. It probably took me about eight minutes. I returned to the same seat and noticed there was now a little boy playing at a nearby table and a man sitting a few chairs away from him. I assumed they were together, but the man wasn't paying much attention to the boy so I wasn't sure. There were no other adults in the near vicinity. The little girl smiled at me as I pulled out a slice of pizza and I asked her how old she was. Nine, was her response. Her mother (perhaps Grandmother) had left her alone. In an airport. At age nine.
Now, I fully recognize that at age nine I was riding my bike around my neighborhood and walking to my friends' houses. However, I really feel this is a different time and I don't know about you, but my children are irreplaceable.
The girl has now decided that she needs the bathroom. She starts to walk off but returns to do what? To talk to the little boy at the table. This is apparently her brother. Oh. My. God! This woman didn't leave ONE child alone in the airport, she left TWO. The boy is clearly younger than the girl. I'll guess he is seven. Older sister tasks HIM with the job of watching the single duffle bag, while she skips off down the terminal.
Eventually, the girl returns and not too long later the woman and the youngest girl return so there is a happy ending to this story. This time.
How many of you have experienced that near heart stopping panic when you turn around and your child has DISAPPEARED? Standing right next to you one moment, and absolutely gone the next. They're sneaky little devils. I, for one, don't want my children to be scared of the world, but I do want them to be aware. Of course, I've preached Stranger Danger. It's foolish to think that alone will protect them. Children are, in my opinion, inherently trusting. It is our job as adults to keep them safe and not put them in situations where they need to be fearful and distrusting.
It's hard to find the balance between letting them stretch their wings and keeping them safe. I've heard it likened to a spring. If you hold it tightly in your hand, eventually you'll grow tired and it will spring out and fly crazy. But if you slowly and gently release the spring, it'll stand steady where you place it. I hope I'm striking the right balance with my own children.
What do you think? How old is old enough to be unsupervised? Would you leave your small children unsupervised at the airport? Playground? At home? I'm curious to know.
I don't know how many times the average traveler flies in a year, but I have flown at least 30 segments this year. I'm looking at another four for certain before December. I'll actually hit MVP with my main airline very shortly. So, I spend a fair amount of time in airports. I can tell you with authority that you are constantly reminded not to leave your bags unattended. Even without TSA's multiple reminders, I wouldn't leave my stuff sitting anywhere anyway. I don't know about you, but I can't afford to replace my laptop if someone decides to relieve me of it while I'm off grabbing a coffee or using the bathroom.
Since I feel so strongly about my laptop and cell phone it disturbs me to see people leave their CHILDREN unattended. Not older children (although they also can be vulnerable), but anyone under the age of twelve. As I write this, I'm killing time in Sky Harbor International in Phoenix, Arizona. Since the flight isn't for two hours the gate area only has a dozen or so people in it. There is a woman near me and apparently her smallest child needed the bathroom. She asks the older girl to stay with the bag while she takes the younger girl to the bathroom. This woman has one small duffel bag. Just one. No carry-ons, no stroller, no backpacks full of stuffed animals and entertainment for the airplane. Nope, just one small duffel bag.
Now, I've used airport bathrooms loaded down with a carry-on suit case, my laptop backpack, a coffee drink, and my jacket. You do some juggling, but it is perfectly manageable and better than the alternative of losing your stuff. Regardless, this woman thought it was a better idea to leave this small girl ALONE in the airport, than pick up her bag and take both girls with her to the restroom.
After the woman left, I gathered my stuff up, went down the terminal a few feet and grabbed some food. It probably took me about eight minutes. I returned to the same seat and noticed there was now a little boy playing at a nearby table and a man sitting a few chairs away from him. I assumed they were together, but the man wasn't paying much attention to the boy so I wasn't sure. There were no other adults in the near vicinity. The little girl smiled at me as I pulled out a slice of pizza and I asked her how old she was. Nine, was her response. Her mother (perhaps Grandmother) had left her alone. In an airport. At age nine.
Now, I fully recognize that at age nine I was riding my bike around my neighborhood and walking to my friends' houses. However, I really feel this is a different time and I don't know about you, but my children are irreplaceable.
The girl has now decided that she needs the bathroom. She starts to walk off but returns to do what? To talk to the little boy at the table. This is apparently her brother. Oh. My. God! This woman didn't leave ONE child alone in the airport, she left TWO. The boy is clearly younger than the girl. I'll guess he is seven. Older sister tasks HIM with the job of watching the single duffle bag, while she skips off down the terminal.
Eventually, the girl returns and not too long later the woman and the youngest girl return so there is a happy ending to this story. This time.
How many of you have experienced that near heart stopping panic when you turn around and your child has DISAPPEARED? Standing right next to you one moment, and absolutely gone the next. They're sneaky little devils. I, for one, don't want my children to be scared of the world, but I do want them to be aware. Of course, I've preached Stranger Danger. It's foolish to think that alone will protect them. Children are, in my opinion, inherently trusting. It is our job as adults to keep them safe and not put them in situations where they need to be fearful and distrusting.
It's hard to find the balance between letting them stretch their wings and keeping them safe. I've heard it likened to a spring. If you hold it tightly in your hand, eventually you'll grow tired and it will spring out and fly crazy. But if you slowly and gently release the spring, it'll stand steady where you place it. I hope I'm striking the right balance with my own children.
What do you think? How old is old enough to be unsupervised? Would you leave your small children unsupervised at the airport? Playground? At home? I'm curious to know.
Another great post, KK, from a woman who is obviously internalizing the world she observes. Bravo.
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I both came up from difficult and seriously dysfunctional childhoods. We didn't come to our mid-20s marriage with any semblence of normal family or child rearing experience, but we did come with a common goal: our children WILL NOT endure the hardships that we did. And they haven't. Our oldest is out on her own, just finishing (well mostly) college last year. Our middle child is starting his second year at U-Penn, and our youngest will be a softmore in high school next week. They're all chemical-free, family friendly but not dependent, and genuinely nice people.
My wife is the original perfect mother who always instinctively knew where her children were. She also felt strongly that busy engaged children do not have time to get into bad circumstances. She has been proven right. For my part, I've provided my children with three things: I don't dote but have always candidly told them that I love them and will support them to the day I die...NO MATTER WHAT; I disciplined them with hard realism, meaning that I didn't just say stay away from the edge of the pond or don't talk to strangers, I said stay away and don't talk because you could DIE; and, finally, I have always protected my children from bullies, mean and incompetent teachers, and any other soul that came within their sphere. A mother nurtures, a father protects, and both should make children the center of existence...forever.
Now, we may not have done everything right, but as I look around I see parents "losing" their children physically, mentally and emotionally, and I'm thinking we did okay.
Sounds like we're on the same page, KK :-)
There are too many parents today too busy (read: selfish and self centered) to worry about their offspring.
ReplyDeleteI look around at parents, and even with the dysfunctional family I grew up with--I realize like Tim, I'm doing pretty damn good with my daughter.
There is no way in God's green earth I'm letting her out of my sight in a busy area. I'm a writer, my imagination is damn good, and I don't want anything to happen to her.
Ever.
It is my job as her parent to keep her safe, make sure she's well adjusted, and doesn't need therapy for 'family' issues when she's thirty.
It is my responsibility (and her father's) to make sure she doesn't have daddy issues and have a revolving door of men in her and her possible children's lives.
My daughter comes first no matter what. Every decision I make takes her into account, because every decision I make will affect her and her future.
That's called being a parent.
Also, like Tim, I show her my love, and I make sure I say the words every day. She doesn't get the soft approach when it comes to things that could hurt her...she gets the truth.
If she runs out into the street she could get killed. I tell her this. I don't sugar coat it.
Some people think that makes me a bad parent or they 'feel sorry' for what the Munchkin will go through later with me as her mother...
To them I'd like to say, "Well, at least they'll still be alive, useful members of society unlike yours."
You're a wonderful parent, Babe, and I think that woman should have been kicked in the head.