It's Really Quite Simple

I've read a couple blogs, talked to some friends, and have decided this needs to be said:

Woman are not that complicated. The things we want are actually quite simple.

It used to be that women needed men for financial support. Not so much these days. I personally have been supporting myself and my family for, well, since I had a family...over fifteen years now.

So what do women want?

• Security -- We're talking about our relationship here. We need to feel secure in where we stand with you. You can't assume we know anything whatsoever about what you think. You need to tell us.
• Emotional Support -- Be interested enough in us to share our interests. You don't have to become an expert in baking, gardening, writing, whatever it is we like, but listen with interest, eat our baking, admire our garden, read our writing. Be mentally available...being in the same room physically is not enough.
• Trust -- Trust us enough to know that just because we like to dress up once in a while, wear sexy panties, and go out with our girlfriends, we're not looking to cheat. In return, we'll be totally okay with you having nights out with the boys. Also, you're not okay with us being close friends with other guys, we know this. Don't expect us to be okay with you being close friends with other girls.
• Honest Communication -- Sometimes we talk in circles and sometimes we hold things back, but stuff eats at us and we're eventually going to come around and tell you what's bothering us. Know that whatever we're about to say we've been contemplating for a long time...trying to decide if it's even worth discussing. We like actions to match words. Don't say it if you're not going to follow through.

That's pretty much it. We want to feel secure in our relationship with you. We want to have trust and honest communication. When those things are in line, everything else falls into place. FYI - when women are secure and happy in our relationships, we like to have sex with you. When we're secure in our relationship, we're not jealous, we don't freak out, and we're not clingy. When we're secure, our relationship is strong and we'll stand by you through hurricane force difficulties that will try to bring us down.

Women who want flowers, jewelry, etc. are looking for material manifestations of what you're not giving them emotionally. 

This may seems oversimplified. I won't disagree there are a lot of whiny, evil, manipulative bitches out there and other exceptions to the rule. For the most part however, you'll find if your woman is secure in her relationship with you, you're going to be happy and so is she.  

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For my dear SO - Hugs babe.

Pick-Me-Up!

I've been reading a lot of other blogs lately and I keep running across a constant theme. So many people are down just like me. Down on themselves, unmotivated, and/or depressed.

Is this just a random walk? Am I seeing a pattern that doesn't really exist? Or is there so many tragic and depressing things going on in the world and our own lives right now that we are truly depressed?

A reoccurring statement is pondering why they're feeling this way; that they, like me, actually have lots of really good things going on in their lives right now.

I think we all deserve a pick-me-up!

Okay, maybe flowers aren't your thing...how about a coffee date with a friend? A movie? Take your family to the park? Maybe a family game night? Snuggle on the couch with someone you love?

I believe I need a fresh perspective, and I'm definitely on the look out.

Happy Friday ya'll.

Romance

I recently heard, “I’m always romantic.” This made me laugh. I don’t care how wonderful you are Guys, you are NOT always romantic.

However, this does make me ponder: what is romantic? Is romance some Hollywood idea of wine, roses, and candles? Maybe it’s a yacht ride and a violinist that pops up out of nowhere to serenade you while you dance and the world stops around you? Maybe it’s your favorite artist randomly showing up at your big event. 

Perhaps it's a more realistic dinner and a movie? Or is it a bouquet of flowers sent to your work? Maybe a surprise trip to a day spa? Is it romantic if he says, "I'll take care of the kids/pets/house today. You go relax and read your book"?

Is it a go big or go home situation? If your man doesn’t spend at least xx amount of money on you, do you bitch to all your friends about how awful he is?  Do you keep the special things he does to yourself? Or consider them bragging rights? What about if he forgets it's your day to relax and you end up not relaxing. Does he still get points for trying?

Romance to me is not about the big production. (Blame my very practical mother for instilling that in me.) Rather, romance is whatever makes me go all gooey inside.  That moment is going to strike at different times, but I can give you a few examples:

• Holding my hand 
• Unexpected correspondence (a letter, card, email or even a phone call) 
• Saying thank you and meaning it
• Remembering important dates
• Buying me coffee 
• Cleaning up 
• Taking the initiative

I think my favorite definition of romantic is this:

b : marked by expressions of love or affection

Behavior, no matter how seemingly insignificant or minor, when marked by expressions of love or affection, the little things that are done from the heart...now that's romantic.

Guess I'm a pretty lucky girl after all. (Unless he's only using flattery to get laid. In which case, he's not working hard enough. Hmmm.)

How about you? What do you consider romantic?  Guys, what can/does your woman do that is romantic? Do you actually like those candle filled bubble baths? What about those awkward dinners with the fine china? Come on Guys...here's your chance to say what you think. :-)

P.S. If you enjoyed this, you might also like this guest post.