Sleep Theory

At three a.m. I was awake and thought, "this is why we die."  A little morbid? Not really.

If the purpose of sleep is to recharge our bodies; if it is during sleep that we grow; if it is during sleep that our cells repair themselves, then it seems reasonable to think that it is a lack of sleep that is killing us.

Think about a rechargeable battery, say your cell phone, for example.  What do the instructions say when you get it? "Charge fully before use."  This is, in theory, to maximize the battery's life. We're also advised not to charge the phone until it is nearly dead, because putting a 2/3 charged battery on the charger reduces its ability to be recharged and shortens its lifespan.  Another example: I leave my laptop plugged in almost all the time.  So much so that it popped up and prompted me to change my settings to "battery saver."  It now no longer charges constantly when plugged in.  Instead, the laptop waits until it is at twenty or thirty percent remaining before it starts to charge.

How does that relate to us as humans?  What if we're recharged during sleep and our lack of sleep, our "half-charges" are shortening our life?  What if when we die, we die because we can't be recharged any more and we've been living off of our reserves, and when those reserves are depleted, that's it? 

The experts say that we can't fix a sleep deficit by sleeping in; that our late nights all week can't be remedied by sleeping until noon on Saturday. This is certainly true of our phones.  Once your battery's capacity is diminished it doesn't matter how long it sits on the charger at 100% charged, as soon as you pull it off the charger, it will discharge at the same rapid rate.

As we age, we typically sleep less and less. I would be curious to know how much sleep centenarians got on average over their lifetime. I wonder how long you could live if your body perfectly renewed itself every night. 

Thoughts?

Thoughts on Little Things

I went for a ten-mile hike Saturday, managed to get blisters and tweaked my back but it was still one of the nicest weekends I can remember.

I think it is the little things that make or break a relationship. I did a lot of thinking about this while I hiked along the beach.

My ex didn't work for the last decade of our relationship. I have no issue with gender reversals. I didn't care that he didn't work outside the home and bring in an income.  However, in exchange, I expected that he would pick up the slack at home (he didn't). The little things: pick up the dishes, take out the trash, clean up after yourself. Nothing sent my anger level into the atmosphere faster than coming home from work and finding the house a disaster, the kids in front of the TV, and him napping. It was a display of complete selfishness.

My life is somewhat different now.  I still work full-time, but I telecommute.  It makes for a different dynamic because I am able to toss the laundry in the washing machine during the day, or start dinner in the crock-pot  In some ways, I think this makes teamwork worse because people forget I am not at home to be doing home things, I am here working and need to treat my job in the same manner I would if I was in the office. So, while I may take a few minutes here or there, I pretty much try to stay focused during the day.  As soon as the work day is over, I leave my computer and start dinner, or wash up the dishes from breakfast, etc. My family, on the other hand, is content to walk in the door and immediately start "relaxing" until dinner is ready.

I understand that work and school is stressful and that one comes home and wants to relax.  However, if everyone relaxes then nothing gets done.  Dinner doesn't get cooked, laundry doesn't get done, the floors don't get swept.  If everyone relaxes but mom, then mom ends up tired, cranky, overworked and resentful. Resentful is never good for a relationship.

I would like to see my family complete one selfless act daily.  One thing that is done completely for the benefit of someone else (hopefully it will lead to more).  I want them to see beyond the 'reward me' attitude: I put my laundry away, or I did my homework, or I put my dinner dishes in the sink.  Yes, those things are beneficial, but they mostly benefit just that person.  I want them to go beyond doing just the minimums. It is the kind, little things, that benefit relationships (between a couple, between siblings, between parents and kids): taking an extra moment to say thank you, please, or you're welcome; picking up something up and putting it away even if it isn't yours; showing interest in another person's activities; and learning to share.

So, back to what made my weekend so enjoyable. The BF made my weekend!  We worked on several things and it was so nice to do them together.  Not that we don't do things together normally, we do. What made this different, is that we did everyday, ordinary things together.  We made cupcakes.  We went shopping. We made breakfast.  We did the dishes.  Somehow, the fact that the activities were so absolutely ordinary, made the time spent together: talking, laughing, working, just that much better.  It was all those little things. I hope we never lose that togetherness.

Finding a Hobby

I've never been very good at crafts. I imagine things in my head but they never tend to come out on paper, canvas, or fabric how I expect. Until recently.

Last fall I was taught how to crochet and it has become a very enjoyable hobby.

An infinity scarf with beads.

A granny square.

Butterflies in a granny square.

My favorite work in progress:  a beautifully textured baby blanket.

Really really!

SHREK: Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I?

DONKEY: Er... really tall?

SHREK: No! I'm an ogre. You know, 'Grab your torch and pitchforks!' Doesn't that bother you?

DONKEY: Nope

SHREK: Really?

DONKEY: Really really. 

That's kind of how the decision to move to Hawaii happened.  The BF (I'll come up with something better maybe later) and I were texting about his living situation at his new duty station and somehow living together came up.  Since it was via text message and moving across the OCEAN is kind of a big deal, I sought some clarification later on the phone.

"You really want me to live with you?"

"You really want to live with me?"

"Well, yeah."

"Well, okay."

"Really?"

"Really really."

And that was about the end of the discussion...at least as I remember it. You'd think that a lot has changed, but it doesn't seem like it. I still get everyone up in the morning.  I make everyone's lunches. I get the kids off to school. I get to work. After work, there is homework, gym, dinner, tv, etc. Pretty sure the biggest changes have been for the BF...the loss of his quiet solitude now interrupted by the chaos of a teen, drama-tween, and child. Plus, he has to SHARE the X-box. (Oh the horrors!)

One thing I've started doing again on a regular basis, is cooking.  There is one major factor behind this: it is outrageously expensive to live here.

The perk however is that I've been reminded that I like cooking.  And not just a bunch of boxed, pre-made stuff that gets thrown together and called a meal.  No, I've been making meals that would make my mama proud. I made a cake from scratch! Before this, I have never made anything but boxed cake mix.  I also made waffles and pancakes without Krusteaz.  I even tried my hand at pizza dough and pizza sauce...with yeast and everything. Today I made mini-pineapple upside down cakes. It will be perfect with a cup of Kona coffee later. Nom nom.

 

Eventually

I was talking to a girlfriend today about babies and being pregnant.  She mentioned that she couldn't possibly imagine being older than she is now and pregnant. Specifically she referenced women in their 40's; those "bitches having babies are crazy!"  This led to a conversation about "eventually."

I think humans spend too much time waiting/wishing for what comes next and not enough focused on the now. Eventually creeps in and annoys even when we have a focused goal. All too often we lose track and feel like tomorrow will always be there....that we'll always have one more day, one more opportunity.  This is apparent when I listen to my kid's friends make comments like, "I can't wait until I'm 18."  If only they would enjoy the fleeting time of youth...you never get it back!

What about if you knew exactly when you were going to die?  Would it weigh upon you and make it hard to live your life? Would you make efforts to change your fate? Or would it encourage you to take every single day and live to its absolute fullest?

Since there is no way to know exactly how long we'll live, how much of your life have you spent waiting for something that was "eventually" going to happen? How do you feel if it never happens? Change goals? Redirect? Wallow in misery?

Eventually, I'll have enough saved to go on vacation.
Eventually, I'll be able to buy that house/car/whatever.
Eventually, I'll feel good enough.
Eventually, I'll lose twenty pounds.
Eventually, I'll be happy.
Eventually, I'll go back to school.
Eventually, I'll look for a different job.

Eventually, eventually, eventually, in an ever deepening rut, until there is no time left for eventually and instead it is just about regrets.

I have lots of regrets about the time when I was married.  I spent way too many years stressing and carrying other people's burdens.  I spent way too much time worrying about other people's expectations. I didn't spend nearly enough time relaxing and just being with my kids or trying/seeing/doing new things or being happy with who I was. I try to be better, but some days it is all so overwhelming. Then I get antsy and frustrated and angry.  I want to scream and cry and swear at people. It's hard not to project those feelings. I don't want be 60 or 70, and realize I realistically only have maybe a decade of time left. Looking back on the failure of my 20's is bad enough.

Sometimes it feels like trying to catch water. It seeps out between your fingers until there is nothing left but a damp reminder of what used to be. I think maybe you can't hold on to happiness and serenity and peace. You can only have it for a brief period of time. You have to figure out its source and then keep replenishing it.

Tough Mudder

Tough Mudder was in September.  It was definitely tough, but it was also lots of fun. Probably because I did it with a bunch of friends. Friends make a huge difference.

I'm not going to tell you everything about the experience because I really think it is something you have to do yourself. I'll give you some highlights though.

1. Just to get into the starting gate you have to go over a 10 foot wall. :/  Really TM?
2. The ice bath at the Gladiator Rock n' Roll run was worse than the Arctic Enema.  Just sayin'.  (Oh, I didn't tell you about that race either, did I?)
3. Spartan Sprint was more fun because the course is smaller meaning less time between obstacles.  We did lots of "running" at TM.
4. A person (not me) can put away a lot of beers in 10+ miles.
5. Electric shock is no joke. Context:  before the event my boss and I were talking about the electric shock obstacles.  There were two places on the course.  One where you belly crawled through water under the wires if you could manage to avoid them (you couldn't). And a second at the very end of the race where the wires hung down like a shower curtain and you have to run through them.  My boss says, "There is no way they can really hurt you.  It must be a very low voltage." I said, "Well, I don't know...you do have to sign a death waiver."
   
   Let me say again: Electric shock is no joke!  They HURT so much!  The first obstacle (the low crawl) wasn't horrible, it snapped and stung, but you were through it pretty quickly.  The last obstacle was awful.  I was hit several times.  One was so hard it knocked me to the ground and another lashed me right across my mouth!
6. Not all mud is created equal.  This event was held at a coal mine.  It was a special kind of muddy. A few days later I was cleaning out my ruck and marveling at the black water running off of it.  I was shocked at the amount...then I remembered the pools of black water we had to crawl through.
7. TM doesn't have the same accountability as Spartan Sprint.  At Spartan if you skip/miss an obstacle, its a penalty of 30 burpees.

All in all, TM was good times.  I was proud of myself and my team for what we accomplished...even if we were nearly the last team off the course.

I'm not the only one who got a shock across the face.

Ruck a 'Hundy

In October of last year, as part of my training, I signed up for a challenge.  To ruck (defined: to ruck is to move with a rucksack, and implies action, energy and purpose) 100 miles in one month.  When I first signed up if I had done approximately 3.5 miles per day, I would meet my goal. However, like with many things, life got in the way.  My miles per day changed to: 5/per day and then 8/per day. As my time dwindled away, I was determined to finish no matter the difficulty.

And, it was crazy difficult.

My last few days looked something like this:

• 23rd: 5 miles
• 27th: 9.10 miles
• 28th: 20 miles (My daughter did all 20 miles with me. What a kid!)
• 29th: 8.2 miles
• 30th: 5 miles

Keep in mind this was October in Washington.  It was cold. It gets dark at 4:00.  On Halloween, I was doing miles around my neighborhood at ten o'clock at night, with my headlamp, in the rain. All with a weighted ruck. Oh yeah!

I earned my patch, which was huge to me because I made a commitment and I kept it. :)

PS  I'd like to say it was fun and that I'd do it again, but um, yeah, no thanks. 

Ruck or Shut Up

December 2011 I saw an event called GoRuck.  I really wanted to do it. Everything about the challenge appealed to me.  I signed up for it. I bought a ruck. I bought bricks. I trained.  I even bought my airline tickets to get to it.  But then I didn't do it. No really good excuse.  Self-doubt and lack of training contributed for sure. Mostly my enthusiasm just petered out and I came up with reasons not to get it done.

Decision time is once again upon me.  There is a local event on June 29.  I don't even have to worry about paying for it because I still have a credit from the other event.  I just have to commit.

So here is my commitment.  I am giving myself until June to decide if I can hack it. I start Saturday with an 8-mile ruck.

Stay tuned.

Keyboard Warriors Rise Again

Last year my coworker and I and some friends raced in the Spartan Sprint at the Washougal Motocross Track. It was super fun.  We got all kinds of muddy and tired and sore and awesome.  My coworker has been bugging me ever since I announced I was moving to Hawaii that I needed to return and race again.  I have not been able to commit to this...after all not only is the race expensive, so are flights...until now! Wooo hooo!

I have a work obligation that will put me in Seattle on the weekend of the event, so ITS ON!! My son is hella jealous.  Sorry, bud!

Catching Up

Wow.  Where has the time gone? Nearly a year since I blogged last.  This is not to say nothing interesting has been happening in my life.  Oh no...in fact, lots of interesting things have been happening in my life.

For example, I no longer live in the fabulous Pacific Northwest.  Nope, I have been whisked away to the Islands.  The Hawaiian Islands to be exact.  Yes, it is as beautiful here as you think. No, it is not a vacation every day.  Life here continues much like life anywhere.  You get up in the morning, you get the kids off to school, you get yourself to work, make dinner, do chores and collapse exhausted into bed. Not different at all.

Sure I wake up in the morning to palm trees, flowers and ruggedly amazing mountains, but I also hear police sirens, car alarms, the nearby traffic of the highway, roosters crowing long before sunrise, and dogs that won't stop barking at shadows.

The island is very densely populated. Sometimes the effort to make the 10-mile drive to the beach seems as daunting as the 1.5 hour drive to the beach in Washington. It is also funny how things are relative.  You can drive around the entire island in an afternoon versus only getting half-way across Washington in the same amount of time.  However, if you discuss needing to go to Honolulu, it is like making plans for an all day trip to Seattle. The grocery store is about a mile away. (The same distance we used to walk from our home to the convenience store.) Yet, when we first moved and I was car-less, comments like, "I'm going to walk and get a gallon of milk," were met with dismay, "that's too far, I can give you a ride."  No, really, I don't mind the walk. :)

So although in many ways its a pretty normal life here as compared to living elsewhere, I still feel lucky to be here. A few random observations:

• Tourists on bicycles are everywhere. It's a cute little city, but what exactly are they coming here to see?
• Tourists dress strange. 
• I don't know where the pristine people-less beaches you see in advertisements are at.
• The weather can change drastically in minutes and miles.
• Wind driven sand hurts. (There is a reason they use sand blasting to remove paint.)
• Spam is delicious when cooked properly.
• Waikiki is a crazy indulgence. Who really needs a Coach store on every corner with a Rolex store between?
• The Dole Plantation is a tourist trap.
• Ants are an annoyance, but I have yet to see the masses of bugs I've heard people talk about. (Thank god...knock on wood.)
• I need to eat more island food.

I haven't seen a fraction of what the island has to offer.  I look forward to seeing more.

Escape from Zombie Island

With a loud blast of its horn, the ferry powered away, leaving nine souls to their fate. Their faces grim with determination, they turned away from the lone street lamp and gazed into the darkness beyond. Black rucks lay heavy across their backs as a cool breeze danced across their sweat dampened skin. Their mission was to make it through the dark, danger infested woods to a safe haven of civilization across the island and rendezvous with an agent specializing in ACRT.

Okay, okay...not really. There were nine of us and the ferry absolutely did leave us on the island, but we weren't grim.  No, we were excited. Gladly anticipating, in fact, the event set before us. Yes, we all voluntarily strapped thirty to forty pound rucks on our backs and got on a ferry to a local island knowing that once there, we were stuck until the 0620 ferry the next morning.

Our planned route was supposed to take us from our Team Leader's home to the ferry, across the sound and nine miles from the ferry dock to the town approximately two-thirds of the distance across the island and back. A total trip of twenty-two miles. The last ferry left at 2230, giving us approximately seven and a half hours to complete our mission.

We made it. We laughed. We groaned. We suffered in silence. Here are some things I learned:

• Rucks. We were somewhat worried about missing the ferry. Our first two miles to the ferry were brisk. Really, really brisk. For me, this was the first time I'd "booked it" with my fully loaded ruck. What's a full load? For me, four bricks wrapped in duct tape, 2 liters of water, a large bag of m&m's (to share), beef jerky, shot bloks, a pullover and a jacket, totaling about 30 pounds. We were all sweating by the time we reach the ferry. We trudged into the passenger section and dumped our rucks on chairs and benches. (They're heavy...you'd dump them in a heartbeat, too.)
  
  The ferry hadn't left yet, and we were all hot. So what do we brilliantly do? Leave all our bags and go out on the deck to cool off.  Until one of us remembered the ferry people would freak the hell out when they saw nine abandoned backpacks...containing duct tape wrapped rectangular objects.
• Islanders are weird.  Our first three miles off the ferry were uphill. All. Up. Hill. We're jogging along two by two with our Odd Man on the outside of the group, when all of the sudden he kinda stutter stops and turns his headlamp on. Why? Because he saw eyes...in the middle of the road. Turns out it was a man walking his dog at 2300 down the middle of a country road in the dark. What. The. Hell? Funny thing, the guy didn't really seem at all fazed by us.
  
  A car full of jerks yelled at us. Most people zoomed by us like we weren't even there. One very nice car at about 0500 slowly and politely skirted around us. The people with the broken jeep that we helped push were pretty nice. Oddly enough, the police that passed us at least four times (not sure if it was the same officer) never looked twice or stopped to ask what we were doing. Not even when we were all hanging out at the park and ride...with our rucks and flashy light saber.
• Carnies. I've never been so thankful for a carnie as I was for the woman who stopped and asked us for directions. Our uphill pace was pretty quick still at this point since we were just getting started...and my stamina was lagging. The woman stopping gave us a quick break and time to catch our breath. Well, me anyway.
• Gifts. The woman was so thankful for directions she gave our Odd Man a light-up, multicolored light saber. It flashed like a strobe light. We were worried one of us would have a seizure. It was a great source of entertainment however as it was apparently defective, turning on when we did not expect it to. It doubled as a short man's cane and a few other things. Its best use however was making sure traffic didn't miss the bunch of crazies trooping down the road.
• Breaks are a double-edged. At the three mile point, we stopped for a break. Carbs, water, pee in the woods, if needed. I believe the whole evening we took four lengthy breaks. When you're getting weary you think, "oh I can't wait until we stop. It will feel good to sit down."  Indeed it does. Except for this, you're not done yet. Its night time. Dew is coating our rucks and us. We're covered in sweat. When we stop, steam rolls off of us. If you break for too long, it is really hard to get moving again. Your muscles have cooled down and started to tighten up. Shivering begins. Adrenaline wears off. Anything that was hurting, really starts to throb as you start moving again. Yeah, breaks seem great...until you have to start moving again.
• Layers. Wearing layers is crucial. I think, however, having layers to change into is even more important. Perhaps this is more a sign of my naivety to this whole long distance rucking thing. Maybe there are better clothes to wear. I wore an Under Armor heat gear compression shirt. Over that I had my regular workout T. By the time we hit our first break I was soaked through and shivering. I threw my pullover on while we rested. In hindsight, maybe I should've taken it back off before we continued. I'm not sure.  It didn't take too many miles, however, before I soaked through that too! By the time we were all done and waiting for the ferry to come back, I had to pull out my jacket and wear it too to keep from freezing. I think next time I'll bring some dry clothes and change when we stop for a break.
• Sweat. Sweat, in and of itself, is pretty icky unless there is a good reason for sweating. When the sweat trickling down your back is because your body is a machine, because you're pushing yourself to your limits and working hard, it's beautiful. It's like the thrill car people get when they rev an engine after a tune-up. Call me crazy if you like, but I know there are people out there who feel the same.
• The Party Ruck. So we're all weighed down with our own rucks, gear, etc. but we also have this "Party Ruck". We passed it around as a team, beginning with two people carrying it between them as we jogged. When they were tired, they passed it back to the next two, who became the leaders, while the previous leaders fell to the back of the group. My thanks goes out to a) Team Leader for packing and bringing the party ruck and b) to the amazing pillars of the group who took the ruck on as the rest of us grew exhausted.
• Water, the sweet nectar of life. Huffing our way back to the ferry I took a long pull on my Camelbak and came up with nothing. No! I thought. It must just have a kink. Team Leader jogs up along side and asks how I'm doing. I say I'm still moving! :)  He grins and suggests I get some water. When I tell him I think I'm out, he says, that's okay because we're stopping soon. Soon felt a long way off. When we stopped the Party Ruck produced three bottles of water and some electrolytes to refill my empty Camelbak. I love the Party Ruck.
• Footwear. I cannot stress enough the importance of proper footwear. I did not wear the appropriate shoes. I've worn the shoes before. In fact, I wore them on the Spartan Sprint without issue. However, let me tell you, a 5k is not 20 miles with a ruck. My feet paid the penalty for my decision and I'll be out of any major workout for at least a week while they heal. I'm also short five toenails now and have one heck of an ugly pedicure.
• Drunk people are scary. In the dead of night we passed a driveway that seemed innocent enough. It was dark and only one or two of us had headlamps on. (Just the small amount of light from a couple lamps kept the road visible for the rest of us.) Our light and activity was enough to draw the attention of some people hanging out in the dark yard. They decided to give chase. We kept moving and didn't stop or react. We could hear glass bottles breaking behind us. They followed for quite a distance. I know I picked up the pace and moved into the center of the group as we tightened up our formation. 
  
  Probably, the guys in the group would've tried to reason with the drunks, suggesting they go home, if they had continued to bother us. I was glad we didn't have to find out. I don't know the background of the whole group, but most are ex- and active military. They know how to defend themselves.
• Mental toughness. There's a lot to be said about being mentally tough. The evening was tough physically for sure, but so much more of it was mental. If you let yourself get down, every aching step is that much harder. When we stopped for our second break, we were almost at our midpoint. I knew by then that I had blisters. I could feel the burning sensation in the soles of my feet. When Team Leader asked how everyone was doing I mentioned my feet. Instantly everyone was concerned. I was offered a change of socks and asked if I wanted to bandage them up. I declined. I knew they were there and that alone was bad enough. If I took my shoes off and actually saw how bad the blisters were, I knew it would make moving on that much harder. I wasn't going to slow them down, let them down, or let myself down.
  
  As night turned to dawn, our group was quiet. Everyone was exhausted, hurting and working through whatever was going on in their heads. This was "suffering in silence."  I always thought that expression meant you weren't to bitch to the Team Leader about what you were asked to do.  I guess, that might be true as well, but in this case, the silence was because each person was finding the will inside themselves to keep going, to see it through to the end.

All in all, it was a great night. I was glad I'd been able to push through to the end. I was surprised that until we got on the ferry to go back, I didn't really feel tired or like I wanted to nod off. I think without that pause in physical activity, I could've gone longer. But I know that this was only the beginning. The GoRuck in December will be a similar distance and length and will also be at night, but without the benefit of knowing the end point. The GRC will end when the Cadre says it ends, not when we reach the ferry. The GRC will also include even more physical challenges and press us more fully into a team.  So for now, I'll soak my feet and hope they heal soon. My next adventure is just a short ten days away.

Until next time, I hope you get out there and find an adventure of your own!

Grown-up Toys

When someone says "grown-up toys" what comes to mind?

I suppose it depends much on the context. ;)  For some people, its cars, others guns, and yet still others may be imaging something a little more x-rated.

Here are some "toys" I recently had an opportunity to play with.

Missing from this picture is this fun toy:

Allow me to describe the fun as I experienced it.  Keep in mind, this was the first time I've played with any of this stuff and I'm sure there are tons and tons of ways to ratchet up the intensity of these "play dates".

First we ran through the agility ladder (yellow stripes on ground). Next we went around the cones.  After the cones we used a fun set of pvc piping (not pictured) to do pushups and dips. That was followed up by a set of squats on the Bosu ball (blue half circle blob on the right). The awesome giant tire was used for step ups. The rubber half-circle is 40 pounds of sand.  Your choice, that or the slosh pipe, for 40 yards of lunges. The circuit was completed with 20 yards of bear crawls and 20 yards of crab walks.

It wasn't incorporated into the circuit, but just for fun, those water jugs with the bar threaded through them? Yeah, those have a rope attached to them. So, first you use the rope to pull them 30 yards (I believe, might have been 20), then you get down and push them back.

My body is a little sore today. :)

Seriously, however, the slosh pipe! Wow. That was really difficult. You have to make tiny adjustments because too fast will send the water cascading from one side to the other, completely throwing you off balance. I did not mange to do all my lunges with it. In fact, the first 20 yards was just figuring out how to walk with the darn thing!

All part of improving my fitness, stamina, and overall strength for the next challenge in my life.  August 4th...ZOMBIES!!  Let's hope I can outrun them!

Snubbing...Now Available in Technocolor

Imagine you and I go to the same coffee shop.

I sit at my table, sipping a mocha, waiting.

You walk in, glance around and see me.

You order your coffee...joke with the barista...comment on the latest piece of artwork hanging on the wall...high five another patron on your way out.

This happens for four or five days.

Finally, you stop by briefly, "hey...i missed you."

Funny, I've been here all along.

Welcome to Social Media.

Missing You

Thought I'd share a special song that I love from a great artist.

Woot! I fought myself & won!

Memorial Day weekend I went for a hike in the woods with my kids. It was a very steep hike. My calves and quads were screaming at me. They were still super unhappy Friday.

Saturday (today) I was scheduled to run a 7-mile race. My only goal was to better my time from the previous race two weeks ago. I'd looked at the competitor results from last year and I knew there was no way I was coming out on top with this group of runners.

I hemmed and hawed...I hurt...it was SEVEN miles...I couldn't do it in the allotted time...people were being non-supportive...I felt FAIL! 

I had options: do the 7-mile walk instead, do the 2-mile run instead, or do nothing.

I figured I needed to check in by 7, which meant setting the alarm at 6.

Six came...and six went...and I was still in bed.

I could just stay here, I thought. No one will know.

Except, I couldn't. I would know...and I would wonder if I did myself a major disservice by not believing I could do it.

So, I got up.

When I checked in I asked about the 2-miler. They said I was welcome to switch.

I didn't.

I ran. At mile one my runkeeper (cool app by the way) said I was doing a 10-minute mile pace! What!? Really? Woo hoo!

I kept running...and I walked...and I jogged. At the 5-mile mark I was 40-seconds per mile faster than two weeks ago. Goal accomplished. That was the one thing I wanted to do...to be better and to just keep improving.

And I kept pushing...through the last two miles. I got passed by an old lady a quarter mile from the finish. Which made me kind of sad. I'm pretty sure I was the last one to finish.

But, you know what?

I don't really care...cause for this I was racing myself. I was racing against my doubts...and I won. :P

Two weeks until Spartan!

Thought for the Day: Words

Humans. The only living, breathing creature on the planet that uses words.

Is there anything more powerful than words? Sure, there are weapons of many kind, but words can be wielded by anyone. Weapons may cause some to cower in fear, but words can inspire the masses to rise together. Some may use them with the dancing grace of a swordsman, others with the brutish force of a club. Words can bring comfort, peace and hope, or they can bring pain, hate and anger.

Some say "actions are louder than words." However, what about when the distance is such that actions are not visible? When the very expression of words becomes the action?

Writing is a beautiful form of words. With writing we can take time to accurately express our thoughts. Things we may find difficult to express orally. In writing, we can tell of fantasies, dreams and desires. In writing, our words can be enjoyed again and again.

Words truly are powerful; even more so when they are expressed openly, honestly and thoughtfully.

"I am but a reader, give me your words, that I would know the expressions of your heart."

Movin' Onward and Upward

Race one is in the books! Woot.

I bested my normal five mile run time and finished 35/59 in my division. On race day it rained. A drizzly soaking warmish rain. A little miserable by the end honestly.

I learned a few things:

• hydrate better. I lost at least five minutes on my time standing at the port-a-potty at mile one because I chugged a bottle of water an hour before the race.
• train better to find my happy pace. I played leap frog with several other racers. Very tortoise and hare type stuff. My natural running stride is long. So, I'd run, pass people, get out of breath and slow down. Then said people with their short jog/trot would pass me.  I'd get my breath back and take off again. Repeat, repeat, repeat. I tried to pace people who were doing the tortoise pace and it was really unnatural for me.
• eat something. I didn't eat before I went. The race started at eight. It was a 30 minute drive, I knew parking would be hard to find, and I still had to pick up my bib. So I left the house at six. I don't eat breakfast at six. Yuck. I could feel it dragging on me later. Most specifically as I stumbled my way back to the car after the race was over. I think next time I need to have a protein shake before I go. 
• find someone to run with me. Hearing my name announced at the finish line was so great! However, it was also disappointing because I crossed and walked to my car to leave. There was no one there to share my achievement.
• smile. I tried to smile as I neared the cameras at the finish line, I swear I did.  However, pretty sure it was much more of a grimace. ;)

So, what's next? Weekend after next, June 2, I'll be running a 7 mile race locally. I'm hoping to beat my average pace from the last race. That will make me happy.

Progress...one step at a time.

Roadside Advice

This is a road side reflector.  I assume they're commonplace nationwide. They're definitely everywhere on small highways and rural roads in Washington.

Often times, as I've drove, I have found myself wondering what would happen if you hit one.  If you hit it just right would it snap off at the base? Or would it harmlessly pass under your car and emerge behind you, bouncing and swaying wildly to and fro?

Well, my advice...


....if you're ever curious...


don't.

Countdown: Two Weeks to Race One

It's May folks. How did that happen so quickly?

My first race is practically just around the corner. I seemed to have found myself with a bit of a problem. Not too big of one I hope. In addition to my other workouts I've gone for a long run every Saturday for the last few weeks. I'm not fast by any means, but I manage to churn out nearly six miles each run.

However, two weeks ago after the run my calves were killing me! I thought I just needed to loosen things up. Sunday I did some light jogging, but followed by engaging in a short sprint with my son. That was a very bad idea. Squatting down on my haunches to lace up my daughter's shoes was excruciating. "Ice & stretch" was the sage advice I received, and so I did. I also took the rest of the week off from doing anything else. No running, no weights. Downward dog became a favorite stretch and towards the end of the week things felt better.

Thinking myself ready, I headed out on my run this weekend, only to find a few short yards in that no, my calves did not feel better. I toughed it out and plodded my way to my friends house. After meeting up, we ran another couple miles.

I'm not running this weekend and the following weekend is the Race. I'll definitely be doing shorter runs and sprints during this week and next.

I'm thinking better pre-workout stretches may be the key.  Anyone have some helpful suggestions or links to what has worked for them? I'd appreciate it, as hobbling is not my style!

Happy Thoughts

The mind is an amazing thing. You can be focused on what's in front of you while your brain is ruminating on something else entirely.  Your characters can be plotting and developing in the recesses of your mind, for example. Or a conversation you had could be replaying in your head. Lyrics to your favorite song could be on repeat.

Often you don't even realize it until you have that "ah ha" breakthrough moment, or when you catch yourself humming or singing.

Peter Pan had it right. With a happy though you can fly!

My favorite people are my happy thoughts and they're always on my mind. First thing in the morning; last thing at night. Not in an obsessive, stalkerish sort of way, but they're always there, in the recesses of my mind. My happy place.

They're just there, making me smile. My mind touches on thoughts of them throughout the day. Those that I'm closest too are never far from my heart and my immediate thoughts. Usually that thought inspires a quick text just because or a funny tweet or sometimes an email or a *gasp* hand-written note. Sometimes the thought makes me do something crazy, like send flowers, a silly gift, or have Chinese food delivered.

When my kids are at school, I sometimes note the time and think, "oh they're at lunch" or "I hope my son's test went well."  My BFF is a long distance away from me and no day feels complete without at least a good morning and good night text. 

When I haven't heard from them I have this emptiness, a distinct feeling that something is missing. My happy is missing a key component.

If there is a good reason for the lack of connection, my mind lingers on them and while I miss them, I mostly think how lucky I am to have such great people in my life.  However, when there is no plausible explanation, I find it hard to focus on anything but the missing component.

How about you? What are your happy thoughts? What do you do when they go missing? What have you done lately to show the people you love how much you appreciate them?