Happy Thoughts

The mind is an amazing thing. You can be focused on what's in front of you while your brain is ruminating on something else entirely.  Your characters can be plotting and developing in the recesses of your mind, for example. Or a conversation you had could be replaying in your head. Lyrics to your favorite song could be on repeat.

Often you don't even realize it until you have that "ah ha" breakthrough moment, or when you catch yourself humming or singing.

Peter Pan had it right. With a happy though you can fly!

My favorite people are my happy thoughts and they're always on my mind. First thing in the morning; last thing at night. Not in an obsessive, stalkerish sort of way, but they're always there, in the recesses of my mind. My happy place.

They're just there, making me smile. My mind touches on thoughts of them throughout the day. Those that I'm closest too are never far from my heart and my immediate thoughts. Usually that thought inspires a quick text just because or a funny tweet or sometimes an email or a *gasp* hand-written note. Sometimes the thought makes me do something crazy, like send flowers, a silly gift, or have Chinese food delivered.

When my kids are at school, I sometimes note the time and think, "oh they're at lunch" or "I hope my son's test went well."  My BFF is a long distance away from me and no day feels complete without at least a good morning and good night text. 

When I haven't heard from them I have this emptiness, a distinct feeling that something is missing. My happy is missing a key component.

If there is a good reason for the lack of connection, my mind lingers on them and while I miss them, I mostly think how lucky I am to have such great people in my life.  However, when there is no plausible explanation, I find it hard to focus on anything but the missing component.

How about you? What are your happy thoughts? What do you do when they go missing? What have you done lately to show the people you love how much you appreciate them?

Lies...it's all lies!

Why do we tell our children lies? They’re masked as beautiful fairy tales, mythical creatures or jolly old men, but they’re still lies.  Since we insist on telling these lies is it any wonder our children grow up with unrealistic expectations? We're setting our children up for failure in so many ways.  Let’s see some examples:

Santa Claus:

The story: Be good all year and a man will pop down your chimney and leave you presents.

Lesson learned: Something for nothing.

The consequence: Living off welfare. Do nothing, get money. It worked as a child, why not as an adult?

The reality: Being good or bad really has no bearing on what happens to you in life. You need to work hard and even if you do, success is not guaranteed.Sorry, but its the cold, hard truth.

Cinderella:

The story: Cinderella works her butt off cleaning, cooking and slaving for her evil stepmother. Eventually her true love rescues her and whisks her away to his castle where we presume she never has to lift a finger again.

Lesson learned: A man is the solution to all the evil in your life.

The consequence: A world full of gold diggers preventing men from finding authentic women.

The reality: If a man sees that you’re capable of working hard, he will expect you to continue doing so.

Belle:

The story: A nasty, snarling, hairy beast with horrible table manners does a couple nice things for a girl and ultimately she feels indebted to him. She hangs out with him and they engage in the age old dance of flirting by pushing each others buttons until when faced with his death she realizes she loves him. She kisses his hairy face and boom he turns into a handsome prince.

Lesson learned: Love will conquer all and buried under nastiness is a wonderful man.

The consequence: Rose colored glasses. We find one or two traits in a man that we can’t live without and ignore the ones that tweak us and make us crazy.

The reality: If you marry a beast, he will continue to be a beast. All those bad habits that you overlooked while you were dating will not go away. He won’t change until he wants to no matter how much you wish he would. He may make some progress, he may drink less, or watch less TV, or play fewer video games, but ultimately if you don’t like who he is now 100% do yourself a favor and walk away.

I can only think of one fairy tale that’s pretty true.

Peter Pan:

The story: Peter Pan and the lost boys decide they need a woman to take care of them and tell stories. Wendy falls for it for a little while.  Pretty soon she sees her situation for what it really is and leaves them.

The reality for girls: Boys will never grow up.

The reality for boys: If you have a smart woman she’s only going to put up with your bullshit for so long before she leaves your sorry ass.

Enough said.